How To Survive Your Husband's Infidelity by TD Fraser

When asking how to survive husband's infidelity, one of the biggest obstacles is how you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to his paramour. Your head is filled with negative comments like:

“She’s probably prettier than me.”
“She's probably in better shape than me"
“She’s probably outgoing, sexy and the kind of women men can't resist. Not like me"
"I'm not interesting enough to keep anyone’s attention.”

Finding out about the affair hit you like a punch in the face. And now your tormented by your thoughts and their constant internal comparison to "her". But there are ways to stop this nonsense and bring yourself some peace.

The Affair's Damaging Effects on Your Self-Confidence

When a wife finds out about her husband's affair, this inevitably leads to negative feelings about yourself. You keep asking yourself "Why?".

It's completely normal to experience self-doubt when you find out about your husband's infidelity. But when it turns into a repetitive nightmare that plays over and over in your head...your self-confidence is torn away.

It's safe to say that this is one of the most challenging times in your life. Your world has been crushed. You want to pick up the pieces of your life but somehow they just don't fit anymore. Don't expect this to happen overnight. But there are steps that will help you on your journey to healing.

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Step 1: Track Your Inner Dialogue

Your thoughts and emotions are running wild after you find out about an affair. You feel awful and you can't seem to focus on anything else but the "other woman" and your husband's betrayal.

It’s important to get a handle on exactly what that inner dialogue sounds like. Keep a record of what you are saying to yourself in these conversations.

Step 2: Knock His Paramour Off the Pedestal

Everyone's situation is different, but you may not even know this woman. Yet you've built her up in our mind as being some kind of goddess. But if she was really that amazing, she would not be involved with a married man.

Challenge these thoughts you are having. If you want to learn how to survive your husband's affair, you have to take action. It is you who gives definition to your thoughts and feelings—and no one can take that away from you.

Step 3: Re-create Your Picture of the Other Woman

Your thoughts are your own. Instead of building her up to this perfect woman, knock her down a few notches. You don't have to be negative, but you have to change your present mental images of her.

Are you wondering if she is more beautiful? Picture her first thing in the morning with bad breathe.

Think she's more successful than you are? Picture her making a huge social mistep. Spinich in her teeth, toilet paper stuck on her foot.

Step 4: Place Yourself Back On the Pedestal

You can learn how to survive your husband's infidelity! You need to remind yourself that you are a great person and this affair does not define you. You define you and you have wonderful qualities. Make a list and recite them to yourself over and over. Every time an image of the other woman pops up and you begin to compare yourself, get your list and read it out loud.

Maybe it sounds corny, but self-affirmations can truly heal your self-esteem.

Survive an Affair FREE course
Click here and learn how to survive an affair (FREE course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

via hubpages.com