Understanding what to do when your boyfriend cheats on you, starts with understand what not to do. There are clear things that you can't accept from your boyfriend, plus you can have behaviors that will likely kill your relationship. Your confused, hurt, and literally sick at heart. But your behavior from this point on will dictate what your future relationship will look like.
Betrayal is Agony.
The following guidelines will help you see the bigger picture and put this situation into perspective. Plus, it will help you see what you need right now to save your relationship with your boyfriend.
If He Want's to Save the Relationship, He Needs to Be 100% Honest
It's easier for him to not talk about it. Guys never want to talk about their "feelings" anyway. So getting him to tell you everything now may be a challenge. Some girlfriends don't want to know or understand the details. Some cannot get past the affair without knowing every detail.
You know which one you are. But he has to be willing to share what he did with you. He can't lie or avoid the conversation. He can't tell you it's all in the past so "forget about it". That's not okay and you will not get past the infidelity unless you deal with your negative emotions.
Don't Try to "Get Back At Him" Or "Get Even"
Anyone who has been a victim of infidelity has thought about getting back at the other person. It's a normal reaction. But it's completely unhealthy and will do nothing but create more problems. When your asking yourself "what to do when your boyfriend cheats on you", the answer is never revenge.
Having sex with someone out of spite is extremely mean to the guy your using. Especially if he does not know he's being used in this way. It's not fair to him or to yourself. It will create feelings of guild and remorse. And you are already dealing with negative emotions so don't throw this into the mix.
Don't Stand On the Fence
You are confused, hurt, heartbroken, stressed and suspicious. This has taken over your whole life and you don't know what to do. But you will have to make a decision. You can either break-up with him, go into denial (which is a horrible idea!) or try to re-build your relationship.
Only you know which one of these is right for you. Again, going into denial and pretending nothing happened only buries your feelings for a limited time. Breaking-up with him is probably your knee-jerk reaction and understandable. Fighting to save your relationship is hard work.
Being undecided causes an unbelievable amount of stress. It's confusing when you don't know what to do when your boyfriend cheats on you. Remember, you don't have to make the decision today, but you do have to make a decision. Don't wait for months and agonize over the situation. Make a choice and move on.
Get Immediate Help Right Now and Survive the Affair
Monday, April 18, 2011
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Cheats - How to Move Past the Pain
via hubpages.com
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