My Husband Had an Affair - How Do I Get Over It?

My husband had an affair, how do I get over it? Did you ever think you would have to answer that question? No one imagines on their wedding day that the husband they love so much will end up betraying them with another woman. But if you're reading this, the unthinkable has happened to you and you don't know what to do to get over it.

Phase #1 - Focus On Yourself First

You've probably heard this advice given in different circumstances. You have to focus on yourself and your needs to be a good wife and mother, right? Now is no different and you have to be your top priority.

There is really a simple reason for this. The success of anything you do will depend on how strong you are. You are the foundation in your own life (and your kids) and you have to be a whole, healthy person for this to happen.

You are the victim in this tragedy. Do you really think you could get past anything this major without focusing on healing yourself first? What do airline stewardesses tell you to do first in an accident? Put the oxygen on yourself first and then others. Same principle applies here.

Phase #2 - You Begin to Work and Heal Together

This is obviously a huge challenge and it takes time and effort. You husband has to want to make the marriage work and has to be willing to do some major damage control to make that happen.

This phase is stressful and emotionally exhausting. You will be angry and your husband will have to deal with his own set of issues. You will have setbacks, feel overwhelmed and question if it's really worth it. But this does not mean that you, as a person, are not worth it. You will just be challenged by the raw emotions caused after the devastation of an affair.

Phase #3 - Rebuild Your Marriage

Right now, you may be thinking that your marriage will never be happy again. And that's completely understandable. Getting to Phase 3 takes a lot of time and effort on both sides. You have to be able to communicate your emotions in a positive way and be ready to start rebuilding the foundation of your marriage.

You have to work on transparency and rebuilding trust after the affair. You basically have to wipe the slate clean and re-create a stronger marriage with very defined, clear-cut rules.

What to Do Next

When you say something like "my husband had an affair, how do I get over it?", you will not find one easy answer. It's an incredibly complex situation and takes a lot of time and effort. But if you truly want to survive your husband's infidelity, you have to make a commitment to rebuild your marriage.

via ezinearticles.com